"No, no you really don't have to fly out from UTAH TO TEXAS JUST TO TAKE ME OUT".... And yet he insisted. I told him I was liberal, I told him not to feel obligated, I had put him off for two months now, and here I was out of excuses. This person whom I had never met, but whom my friend had insisted I needed to give a shot, had not given up - as I had hoped, when I had left the state and driven hundreds of miles to a new one.

"So, Thursday it is then?" And I hesitated. I was cornered. I consented; after all he had been persistant for 2 months. My curiousity was peeked. But then so are psychotic serial killers, I thought 5 minutes after I had sent the text saying Thursday was fine. What was I doing??

When I pulled up to the airport terminal, I suddenly realized I was not entirely sure what he looked like. "Damn, he could be that guy leaning against the signpost in front of me texting" I thought, and then wished he was. I would send a text, and see how quickly he responded. It seemed to be working, and I got excited, until I recieved a text saying, "I'm coming out the doors to your left". And there was my date.

The plane ride was good, he had slept. He had come prepared for Texas heat in a pair of shorts and a t shirt. We decided on sushi, 2 points for him (I could eat sushi every day every meal if I could).

The most haphazard event was actually caused by me, as I turned down a one way street - my GPS can be confusing at times. But other than that the date was suprisingly enjoyable and non serial killerous. We had a lot in common, and he was funny. Another two points for him, as it made the conversation fun and enjoyable. We had a really good time actually.

Not that I have any intention of returning the favor and flying to Utah... Like ever.

In and Out

It's weird how I feel like there are different Mes that exist at different times and in different places. Tonight I feel disconnected, but yet at peace. It's weird how you can change enviroments and discover who you are and get a deep hard glimpse into the path your life is going to take.
Being here, away from everyone, away from everything, I think I'm finally starting to heal from past wounds. I forget the me that he hurt, I don't know that person. She is vanishing into the distance.
Starting afresh sounds so cliche, so false. It's not like that. A new beginning; Again cliche and it does not take into consideration that the past wasn't what pushed me here.
It is like breathing again, but this time deeper more full - like I can take in all the air in the room and fill myself with it. I can be filled. I will be.
I am.
Tonight.

The Welcome

I was just welcomed into town by the welcoming committe which has existed for years and years and they gave me a basket full of coupons, ads, and free gifts. One included a free gift to a funeral home. My curiousity was peeked to say the least.
I made the trek out there, just to satisfy the curiously - expecting an odd assortment of zoombified things mulling through my thoughts - to be welcomed by a young man. Who took me to a back room.
I made no pretenses, no quick conversation, but handed him the card and asked for my free gift.
He laughed, and quickly came back with... an ice cream spoon.
An ice cream spoon? At least I left alive....

Small town for a not so small town girl

1300 miles from home - not knowing a soul, having no family, and there is a field full of cattle right across from my complex. My Christening was more than I ever expected - a huge chocolate cake with 28 candles to celebrate my missed birthday that was spent hauling my stuff 1300 miles.
But somehow I still felt unfulfilled.
I didn't own a gun. I was a registered Democrat. How do I ever expect to make a life for myself in a small Texas town?
When everything was unpacked, and I looked around the apartment - I realized I had really done it. The planing, the goodbyes, everything was over, and I was here.
And more scared than I'd ever been in my whole life.