It's weird how I feel like there are different Mes that exist at different times and in different places. Tonight I feel disconnected, but yet at peace. It's weird how you can change enviroments and discover who you are and get a deep hard glimpse into the path your life is going to take.
Being here, away from everyone, away from everything, I think I'm finally starting to heal from past wounds. I forget the me that he hurt, I don't know that person. She is vanishing into the distance.
Starting afresh sounds so cliche, so false. It's not like that. A new beginning; Again cliche and it does not take into consideration that the past wasn't what pushed me here.
It is like breathing again, but this time deeper more full - like I can take in all the air in the room and fill myself with it. I can be filled. I will be.
I am.
Tonight.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The Welcome
I was just welcomed into town by the welcoming committe which has existed for years and years and they gave me a basket full of coupons, ads, and free gifts. One included a free gift to a funeral home. My curiousity was peeked to say the least.
I made the trek out there, just to satisfy the curiously - expecting an odd assortment of zoombified things mulling through my thoughts - to be welcomed by a young man. Who took me to a back room.
I made no pretenses, no quick conversation, but handed him the card and asked for my free gift.
He laughed, and quickly came back with... an ice cream spoon.
An ice cream spoon? At least I left alive....
I made the trek out there, just to satisfy the curiously - expecting an odd assortment of zoombified things mulling through my thoughts - to be welcomed by a young man. Who took me to a back room.
I made no pretenses, no quick conversation, but handed him the card and asked for my free gift.
He laughed, and quickly came back with... an ice cream spoon.
An ice cream spoon? At least I left alive....
Monday, May 23, 2011
Small town for a not so small town girl
1300 miles from home - not knowing a soul, having no family, and there is a field full of cattle right across from my complex. My Christening was more than I ever expected - a huge chocolate cake with 28 candles to celebrate my missed birthday that was spent hauling my stuff 1300 miles.
But somehow I still felt unfulfilled.
I didn't own a gun. I was a registered Democrat. How do I ever expect to make a life for myself in a small Texas town?
When everything was unpacked, and I looked around the apartment - I realized I had really done it. The planing, the goodbyes, everything was over, and I was here.
And more scared than I'd ever been in my whole life.
But somehow I still felt unfulfilled.
I didn't own a gun. I was a registered Democrat. How do I ever expect to make a life for myself in a small Texas town?
When everything was unpacked, and I looked around the apartment - I realized I had really done it. The planing, the goodbyes, everything was over, and I was here.
And more scared than I'd ever been in my whole life.
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